


Protect You

by childofthenight2035



Category: EXO (Band), Korean Actor RPF, NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Bukhan River, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, K-drama, Kai and Chanyeol are the reader's best friends, Korean Border, Shooting, gender neutral reader, lynne reid banks, one more river
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-01 20:11:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17874053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childofthenight2035/pseuds/childofthenight2035
Summary: The story was simple enough, really.It was only inspired by the book by Lynne Reid Banks. Only inspired. No space to make up a whole controversy about plagiarism. Credit where it was due. One More River was a book I had grown up reading and it was about a young girl emigrating to war-stricken Israel and learning to adjust among the people there. The story of the drama was similar, the story of a person whose circumstances caused them to leave the United States, their friends and the one they had thought they would spend the rest of their life with. But no. The country failed them, their friends were sympathetic but helpless and the lover was never there when they needed support. Fair weather friends, all of them. Not willing to face challenges, having been brought up in nothing but comfort.So they return to a country they have no memory of, to a province near the border of two worlds at war with each other. Their only solace is the river. They struggle to grasp the language, the culture, the fear of the people around them. They meet two young men in different ways, in different situations and they find the voice of their heart harder to hear, harder to understand.





	1. As The River Flows

__  
“Y/N-ssi?”  
“Ey, why this formality, Hyunwoo? Just because you’re leaving doesn’t mean that we’re going to be strangers from now on, right?”  
“You’ll be okay?”  
“Of course I will. I’m a strong person. Besides, the agency found a replacement, haven’t they? I’m sure I won’t ever be alone.”  
“When is he starting?”  
“In a few days, I think. They’ve cast me in ‘As The River Flows’. So I’m sure that they won’t even let me out without someone.”  
“Congratulations on that. Who was directing that?”  
“Park Sunho-ssi. I’m really looking forward to it.”  
“Well. Good luck.”  
“Thank you, Hyunwoo. Take care. Keep in touch, yeah? If I’m ever in New York, I’ll call you. Tell Minhyuk I said hello.”  
“I will.” 

 

-

 

“Channie! What’s up?” I propped my phone up to my ear with my shoulder as I washed out the bowl I had eaten lunch in. 

“You might want to check your email right now,” he suggested, a note of amusement in his voice. “Might be something useful there.”

“Wait, what?” I set the plate down in the sink and wiped my soapy hands on a spare washcloth, taking the phone. “What do you mean?”

Beep. Beep. The idiot had hung up. I sighed, scrolling through my apps and opening my email account. The first thing I saw was the sequence of emails regarding the drama I was cast in. I opened it, curious. It had been forwarded to everyone who had something to do with it. 

I scanned the email, a huge smile breaking out on my face. The minute I finished reading it, I phoned Chanyeol. 

“Chan!” I yelled when he picked up. “Kai’s been cast?!” 

I could hear his smile. “Yep. Thought you’d like to know.”

“Wow!” I could hardly believe it. So my friends were going to be with me. _Don’t worry, Hyunwoo, wherever you are right now. I’ll be safe._ “Wait.” A thought struck me. “It said the last casting. But there are two main leads. If one is Kai, who’s the other one?” 

“Ah. I don’t know.” I sensed something in his tone that seemed suspicious, as if he knew who it was but didn’t want to tell me. I decided not to press. 

“So will I see you for the meeting tomorrow?” I asked. 

“Sure thing.”

“No, wait, don’t hang up! Could you give me a ride?” I made my voice as pouty as it would get, trying my luck. Chan seemed in a good mood. 

“Ah, Hyunwoo left, didn’t he?” He paused, considering my request. “Alright. Fine.”

“Thanks, Channie!” I hung up and went back into the kitchen to finish washing out the dishes. A small smile graced my face. I couldn’t wait to start. 

 

\- 

“Can this traffic get any slower?” I groaned, sliding down against the seat and shielding my eyes against the light. 

Chanyeol scoffed. “We would have gotten there already if someone hadn’t taken way too long to get dressed.” 

I pouted but didn’t reply. I knew I deserved it. 

We got there half an hour late. I took off down the hall, Chanyeol on my heels. I rounded corner after corner, all the while thinking that _gosh, if anyone was to come around the corner, I would smash right into them and then this would be the complete drama scene_ but at the same time I was noting the lack of people in the hallways and I knew, I knew, that the meeting had long since started and that was why no one was here. I was in trouble. I knew it. 

I burst into the conference hall, to be met with sudden silence. I winced. 

“I’m sorry, Sunho-ssi.” I tried hard to catch my breath. “Traffic was horrible.”

His unimpressed gaze fell on me. “Of course it was. Come inside.”

I bowed low in apology, Chanyeol imitating me. I walked over to where Kai stood with the other actors, leaving Chanyeol with his studio artists. Each step I took seemed like a gunshot in the silence. The director’s eyes followed. I hated this. The lead role and the music director late for their own drama. Once I had smushed myself near Kai, he turned back to the group. Kai’s hand found mine and squeezed reassuringly. I managed a smile. 

“As I was saying before we were _interrupted_ —“ the emphasis on interrupted, “—we need to arrange our travel—“

The door flew open, drowning out the rest of his words. I bit my lip to stop myself from laughing. At this rate, he would never finish his sentence. I was going to tell that to Kai when my eyes found the tall young man who had just walked inside. My jaw dropped.

“Ji Chang Wook?” I breathed out softly, awed. I heard Kai chuckling beside me. I searched for Chanyeol, to find that he was already looking at me and smirking. I felt my face turn red. I knew very well what had brought this on, why he hadn’t told me who the other lead was. 

It was barely anything of a story. The three of us had got together to have some drinks and ended up playing a tipsy game of Truth or Dare. I didn’t quite remember what had happened, but apparently I had mentioned that the actor I wanted to hook up with was Ji Chang Wook. But in my defense, I wasn’t in my right mind. Sane, I saw him and respected him as my sunbaenim. And maybe had a tiny crush on him. I mean, the man was gorgeous and was an amazing actor. But I probably wouldn’t try anything. Ever. Those two idiots had never let me hear the end of it. 

But now I was facing him. I could almost feel Chanyeol’s eyes boring a hole into my skull as I watched Ji Chang Wook’s apologetic expression morph into happiness on seeing the director. I couldn’t hear any noise around me. My vision was focused only on this man I looked up to so much. I registered that he whispered something in Sunho-ssi’s ear, the director’s face fell, and the two of them abruptly walked to the door. The meeting was apparently over. 

I was still in a daze as the people filtered out of the room when Chanyeol clapped me on my back, hard. I twisted away from him, face scrunching up in pain. 

“Like your present?” Chanyeol’s smirk made my hands ball up into fists. I knew better than to try hitting him, though. The man was built like a bull. I seized his shirt and shook it.

“What am I going to do?” I wailed. “I can’t act normally around him! I’m just going to embarrass myself!” I buried my face in his jacket, pitying myself as he wrapped an arm around me. 

“It’s gonna be okay,” he assured. “He probably won’t even look twice at you.”

I felt an impact and Kai’s voice. “Hyung, that might not be the best feel-good method. Don’t be stupid.”

“Are you calling me stupid?”

“Y/N-ssi?”

My head shot up. Someone had called my name and it wasn’t either of them.

I turned around. One of the younger camera operators stood in front of us. Despite his tender age, he was quite tall, as tall as Chan. He bowed to the three of us and spoke nervously. “Uh, Y/N-ssi, Director-nim is asking for you and Kai-ssi.”

Chanyeol gently pushed me forward. “You two go on, I should get to the studio and see my peeps.” He pushed Kai too. “Go. Don’t make him mad.”

 

-

“What’s your name?” Kai asked the camera assistant kindly while he led us to the director’s office.

“Oh. Lucas,” he said, smiling awkwardly. 

“He reminds me of Minho, doesn’t he, Kai?” I remarked. Kai peered into Lucas’ flushed face. 

“He does.” Patting Lucas’ shoulder, he continued, “Minho is my sunbaenim. He’s an idol.”

Lucas nodded respectfully and bowed again. “Thank you, Kai-ssi, Y/N-ssi.” 

I smiled at his gestures. The boy needed to loosen up a little bit, but I wouldn’t be the one to say that. From what I knew, most of the camera assistants were students studying cinematography. 

“Good luck, Lucas,” I wished him as we reached the office. “Work hard.”

He bowed. “I will. Thank you.”

 

-

Kai knocked on the director’s door without hesitation, before I could snatch his arm back. We heard a muffled ‘Come in!’ and Kai smartly opened the door. 

Park Sunho-ssi was seated quite comfortably in his swivelling chair, rocking slowly from side to side, slight frustration and worry on his face, but he was smiling, he was laughing with the man seated in the left of the three plush chairs in front of his desk. 

Kai and I bowed to the director. “Good morning, Director-nim,” we crowed in unison. 

“Ah yes, good morning. Please have a seat.” He gestured to the remaining two chairs. Kai immediately drew out the right chair. I thanked his sense. At least he wasn’t going to subject me to humiliating myself in front of Ji Chang Wook and the director. I sat down as he occupied the central one. 

“We have a slight dilemma,” the director began. “You are aware of the storyline, I hope. We have yet to find an actor for the role of Lee.”

“Oh, the boyfriend in the States?” I asked. 

He nodded. “The actor who had originally agreed to take up the role, suddenly backed out. Chang Wook is aware of that, I presume?”

“Aishh, is it Taejoon?” Chang Wook-ssi’s deep voice rang out, a twinge of annoyance in it. “That punk.” I glanced over past Kai. Chang Wook-ssi seemed quite relaxed. Of course, I thought. They’ve worked together before. “Should I talk to him?”

Sunho-ssi shook his head. “Forget it. Let him be. We’ve set up auditions again.” He set his elbows on the desk and pressed his fingertips together. “Without casting that role, I can’t afford to shoot in the States. So what we’re going to do is finish the shooting at the border and Bukhan river and hopefully by the time we’ll have a lead.” 

I nodded in agreement. 

He smiled at me. “Chang Wook-ssi, you haven’t met our other leads, have you?” 

I heard Chang Wook shifting in his seat and in my peripheral vision, I could make out his keen gaze roaming over me. I pressed my lips into a thin line nervously. 

“Y/N-ssi, nice to meet you.” Surprised that he knew me, I twisted in my seat to face him. As his flawless face came into focus, I felt my heartbeat rise. He had on his characteristic smirk that he was famous for in his dramas. _I’m going to faint._

I inclined my head. “Thank you, sunbaenim. It’s an honour to meet you.”

His lips parted in a broad smile. “Ah, so polite. And Kai-ssi,” he added, turning to him, “pleasure to meet you as well.”

“Thank you, sunbaenim.”

Chang Wook-ssi shook his head in amusement. 

“Wook-ssi, I hope you’ll take care of our maknaes, eh?” The director remarked. I knew my face had turned pink by now. 

“Oh, I will, director-nim. Don’t worry.”

 

\- 

As soon as the director’s door closed behind the two of us, I seized Kai’s hand and pulled him with me, wanting to get as far away from there as possible. Kai was all but two seconds away from laughing at me.

“Y/N, if you don’t get used to him, how are you going to shoot this drama?” he asked, his cackle echoing in the hallway. 

“Shut up!” I hissed. “He doesn’t need to know anything!”

“Doesn’t need to know what?” 

Both of us swivelled around with neutral innocent expressions on our faces. I dropped Kai’s hand. Ji Chang Wook planted his hands on his hips. 

“Were you talking about me by chance?” His eyes narrowed playfully.

“Oh! No, sunbaenim, we were—“ Kai began.

“Relax, both of you,” he interrupted. “You don’t need to be so formal. We’re all friends here, aren’t we?” 

Kai and I looked at each other. “Really?”

Chang Wook-ssi nodded. “Of course. Don’t be scared of me, please. I wouldn’t be able to bear it if you are.” He placed a hand over his heart and pouted. My heart broke. _Aigoo, he’s so cute. Wait, what am I thinking?_ I grabbed Kai’s hand again.

“Thank you, sunbaenim, but we really have to go.” I bowed quickly and dragged Kai as fast as I could, leaving Chang Wook in the hallway, confused. 

“Y/N, you’re really crazy, you know that?” Kai scolded. 

“I know I’m crazy!” I cried. “I don’t know what to do!” 

 

\- 

“Y/N, we’ve found a replacement for Hyunwoo.” My manager informed me over the phone as I walked over to the elevators, on my way to the music department.

“Oh. That’s good, manager-nim,” I replied, digging around in my handbag for Chanyeol’s car keys. “What’s his name?” 

“Lee Taeyong. He’ll be starting in two days. I’ll let you know.”

“Thank you…” I dragged out the last syllable and hung up. “Aishh, where are those keys? Channie’s going to kill me.”

The ‘ping’ sound of the elevator bell sounded and, without looking up, I walked inside, head still in my bag. My head promptly collided with a firm surface.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, jolting. My eyes found a young man in the lift, a hand over his chest. _Did I just walk into someone?_ “I’m so sorry!” I bowed low before straightening up, finally getting a good look at the person. 

His hair was dyed blonde and carefully styled so some fell over his forehead and framed his face. It looked very well done. He was tall and lean and had a sculpted face. Young. He looked young and regal. I was almost speechless for a moment. He was absolutely breathtaking. In that minute, I totally forgot that Ji Chang Wook existed. He stood aside for me and I shuffled inside awkwardly. I noticed that he was wearing a Metallica t-shirt.

I pressed the button for the 17th floor and let five floors pass by before I burst out, “Are you an idol?”

He looked surprised. “Idol?” He let out a nervous chuckle. “No. I’m not.”

“Are you an actor?”

He seemed at loss for words. “Um. No, I’m not an actor.”

“Then what—“ The elevator ‘ping’ed and opened. He looked apologetic. 

“This is my floor. I’m sorry. Nice meeting you!” He stepped out swiftly. I stuck my hand out in front of the sensors. 

“At least tell me your name?” I called out, knowing that I had to remove my hand from the doors as they were blocking service. I reluctantly pulled my hand away. 

He stopped two paces away. “Taeyong,” he said, turning around and staring at me dead in the eye. “Lee Taeyong.”

The doors closed. 

 

\- 

The story was simple enough, really. 

It was only inspired by the book by Lynne Reid Banks. Only inspired. No space to make up a whole controversy about plagiarism. Credit where it was due. One More River was a book I had grown up reading and it was about a young girl emigrating to war-stricken Israel and learning to adjust among the people there. The story of the drama was similar, the story of a person whose circumstances caused them to leave the United States, their friends and the one they had thought they would spend the rest of their life with. But no. The country failed them, their friends were sympathetic but helpless and the lover was never there when they needed support. Fair weather friends, all of them. Not willing to face challenges, having been brought up in nothing but comfort. 

So they return to a country they have no memory of, to a province near the border of two worlds at war with each other. Their only solace is the river. They struggle to grasp the language, the culture, the fear of the people around them. They meet two young men in different ways, in different situations and they find the voice of their heart harder to hear, harder to understand. 

In its essence, that was the plot. Sunho-ssi’s direction would make all the difference.

 

-

I folded my arms and stared at the blonde head in front of me. It was two days later, and my new bodyguard was taking charge. 

“Y/N, this is Lee Taeyong,” my manager informed me. 

“Yeah, I know. We’ve met.”

I half-expected him to reply, but he remained stoic, his expression hard and stern. I turned away, pouting a little to myself. From what I saw, he seemed like a contrast of Hyunwoo. Needless to say, I knew who I preferred. 

“Are you always so stiff?” I asked him, staring straight ahead as he followed me down the hall. I spun around, walking a few steps backward. 

“Don’t you smile? I think my manager is scared of you. That would be a first.” He didn’t reply. “Don’t you talk, either?” 

“Don’t walk backward, you’re going to fall.”

I scoffed. “Wow. Okay.” I turned back around, footsteps echoing slightly in the empty hall. I could just make out the murmur of voices in the rooms adjacent to it. “You’re good at ruining the mood, you know that?” Again, silence. “Hyunwoo and I got to know each other right away. Do we have to be so formal?” 

“This is professional, if I’m not wrong.”

I shrugged. “Well, so was Hyunwoo an—“

“I’m not Hyunwoo. So please stop this comparison. I’m here to do my job. The means are irrelevant.” 

That was the longest he had spoken since I first saw him. I stopped walking, guilt riding up in me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to compare the two of you. I was only asking if we could be friends.”

He stopped a pace behind me. “I’m only your bodyguard. You have plenty of friends.” I didn’t know what to say. I was hurt, to say the least. “Keep walking, Y/N-ssi.”

 

-

“Sunho’s going to have a heart attack,” Kai muttered. “Where is he?” I watched him, amused, as he sat on the steps of the bus. Almost the entire crew was bundled into three buses that would take us from Seoul to the Bukhan river and the locations we would be shooting at. Obviously we weren’t allowed into the DMZ. But we were going to film some of the barriers and the soldiers that were stationed there. The story was set in the time of the Korean War in 1950, so we had to make it seem real. The DMZ didn’t exist at the time. We had already been delayed some, and Park Sunho was currently going around pulling out his hair because time was limited and Ji Chang Wook was nowhere to be seen.

I leaned forward from my seat in front, reaching over the bar and ruffling his hair. “Calm down, Kai. Chang Wook-ssi will be here soon.”

As if on cue, Kai let out an exclamation, pointing towards the gates of the agency. Chang Wook was jogging towards our bus, a rucksack bouncing against his back, muscles flexing within his t-shirt. I bit my lip at the sight. His bodyguard was not far behind. 

“Jesus, Y/N, stop drooling,” Kai hissed as he got up from the steps, hitting the bottom of my chin. I quickly closed my mouth. When had it fallen open? I was glad that Chanyeol hadn’t seen it. He would never let it slide like Kai would. I cleared my throat awkwardly. “Get a grip on yourself, okay? It’s not going to happen.” He squeezed my shoulder and slipped past me to his seat behind mine. As Sunho-ssi chewed Chang Wook out for being late, I thought about what Kai said. _Of course nothing was going to happen. It’s just a tiny crush. It’s like idol worship. I don’t love him. I just really admire him._

A large body slid into the last remaining seat next to me and I seized up, straightening suddenly in my place. I scooted over as near the window as possible, lips pressed tightly together. I could feel it. He was looking at me. His shoulder bumped into mine and I jolted, face turning upward to look at him. He was smiling endearingly at me and I thought I would melt. 

“Still afraid of me, Y/N?” he teased.

“N-no, I’m—“ I tried to say. 

“I’m just kidding,” he said, bumping playfully into me again. I hung my head, suddenly shy, my hair falling in front of my eyes. I felt heat crawl up my cheeks and I hastily covered my face with my hands. “Yah, what happened?” I heard him ask, his tone now concerned. I sat up, pushing my hair away from my face. 

“Aishh, why are you like this, Chang Wook-ssi?” I muttered lowly, my bottom lips stuck out slightly in a pout. 

He must have heard me, because he asked, “But what did I do?”

“You’re my sunbaenim, aren’t you? Why are you being so friendly?” I whined. “Now I don’t know whether to respect you or be friends with you.”

“Be friends, obviously,” he replied, a smile dancing across his perfect lips. “Do you know how tiring it is to hear people talk to you as if you’re a judge that’s going to sentence them to death?”

“Ah.” I hadn’t thought of that. “I’m sorry. How should I call you?”

“Chang Wook. Do you want to call me Wookie?”

I blushed. “No. Please, no, I’ll call you Chang Wook.”

He stared at me for what seemed like ages. His gaze was so intense. I couldn’t blame the people who made him an actor. They weren’t wrong at all. I’d seen his performances and wished ever so many times that I could be his co-star. So I let myself look back into those eyes. Then his face broke out into a cute little shy smile that forced the corners of my mouth upward. When he opened his mouth, I was expecting something else to come out. 

“Do you like dogs?” 

My eyebrows must have disappeared into my hair from my surprise. “Oh. I….yeah. I suppose I do. Like dogs.” If I listened carefully, I was sure that I could hear Kai sniggering from the seat behind me. I bit back a scowl and refocused on Chang Wook’s shining face. He snapped his fingers at me and squirmed in his seat, his hands digging into the pocket of his jeans. When they withdrew, he was holding his phone. Unlocking it, he leaned closer. 

“My sister has a dog,” he said. “The cutest little poodle.”

“Oh? Really?” I responded eagerly, leaning closer to him to get a better view. He scrolled through his gallery and, face lighting up, held out a photo. I couldn’t help but gasp in delight at the fluffy white dog that had draped itself over Chang Wook’s lap. “Aigoo, so cute!” _Even the dog has great taste in men_ , I thought privately. _What wouldn’t I give to do that? No! Y/N, you’re not supposed to think things like that. Stop it._

We spent quite some time looking through the pictures on his phone and before long, our conversation had surpassed poodles and hobbies. He described funny incidents that had happened during the shoots of his previous dramas, a memorable one being that he and Taejoon had poured glue into Nara’s hair during Suspicious Partner. She hadn’t spoken to either of them off set for a week. 

I laughed so hard that I almost fell off the seat. Suddenly I caught sight of Taeyong staring at the both of us with something only a little less than murder in his eyes. Utter disapproval. I abruptly stopped laughing and looked down at my phone. Chang Wook, confused at my sudden halt, turned his head to follow my gaze. Evidently he had seen Taeyong’s expression as well, because he cleared his throat and leaned away from me. The rest of the ride was silent. I spent much of it staring out the window, fascinated at the beauty of the countryside. 

 

\- 

“Wahh,” Kai breathed as he stepped out of the bus behind me. That simple sound summed up my feelings too. The wide Bukhan river stretched out in front of us, winding its way to where I knew the border was. The sun had just begun to set, the sky glowing in a thousand shades of red and orange. It seemed like the doors of heaven had been thrown open. 

Kai squeezed my shoulder and I let out a huge sigh, letting the serenity of my surroundings seep into me. Even Sunho-ssi seemed at ease. 

“It’s so beautiful,” I whispered to no one in particular. “I can’t wait to start.”

 

\- 

We bunked at a hotel for the night in the nearby town. But I could barely sleep. I was far too excited. Had I read the whole script? No. Did I know which scene we were going to shoot tomorrow? No. All I knew was that I was playing the unfortunate victim of financial crisis who returns ‘home’. Chang Wook was playing the young man from across the border and Kai the boy who lived nearby, the boy who my character was depending on. I sighed and snuggled deeper into my pillow. Whatever came, I would face it. 

 

\- 

“Can you believe this?” I asked, coming up behind Kai. He glanced up from where his stylist was fussing over his hair. Temporary tents had been put up near the trailers for hair and makeup and last minute adjustments. I was tired and sweaty after the shoot. Kai was about to do his scenes and thankfully, I wasn’t in them. All I wanted to do was rest my feet. “I’m literally about to die and he wants the photoshoot done right now?”

“Wait, he wants the photoshoot now?” Kai choked out, rising from his seat. “I thought-“

“Calm down.” I forced him back down. “Yours is after your scenes are done. Sunho-ssi’s in a permanent panic mode.” I ducked a little to see myself in his mirror and fixed my hair. “Wook and I are doing ours now. We’ll wait for you. Don’t screw up your scenes.”

“Wook?” Kai raised an eyebrow. “You seem to have completely skipped the formalities. You got to know him so well in two days?”

I bit the inside of my cheek. There was no way I would admit to Kai that we had exchanged numbers and spent half the night texting. Kai would tell Chan and Chan would….well, what wouldn’t he do? Instead, I shrugged innocently. “Must be good chemistry.” 

He smirked, seeing through my façade immediately. “Chemistry, huh? Don’t forget that you end up with me at the climax.” 

I pursed my lips. “Gross. Who wants to be with you?”

“Y/N, it’s time to go.” Chang Wook’s voice filtered into the tent. “Where are you-Oh.” His tall frame bent to pass through the low opening. “You ran away from me to see him, huh? Kai-ssi…let her have a minute, yeah?”

From Kai‘s utterly bewildered face, I knew he was about to say something. “Ah, Wook-ssi, we should go, the photoshoot…” I slid up to him, my fingers curling around his wrist and dragging him out of the tent. 

 

-

“Can you two please get closer?” the photographer begged. “You are lovers, can’t you show that here?” I glanced sideways at Kai, who had finished his scenes in a heartbeat. I suspected that he was desperate to see me make a fool of myself. I felt Chang Wook’s hand on my lower back and I let him adjust me close to him. I could feel the warmth of his breath on my shoulder. But then, he pressed his lips to the base of my neck and I jumped out of my skin, my shoulder connecting harshly with his jaw. He let out an exclamation of pain and withdrew, covering his mouth. 

I smacked my forehead in frustration. “Chang Wook-ssi, I’m so sorry!” I reached up, ignoring Kai who was clearly having a field day in the back. “Are you hurt?”

He shook his head, removing his hand and smiled at me. “I should have asked your permission first. I’m very sorry.”

“It’s okay, I was just surprised.” I turned back around and he fit his body behind mine again. I swallowed, determinedly avoiding the back of the room. Chang Wook’s hands slid around my waist. His lips brushed over the skin on my shoulder before firmly kissing my neck. My eyes fluttered closed. _Gosh, I’m enjoying this way too much._ His grip on me tightened and for a split second, I let myself believe that he was too.

 

\- 

“What the heck is wrong with you?” Kai hissed in my ear after the photoshoot. I had certainly been more comfortable with him than with Chang Wook. He was my best friend, after all. We had already passed the awkward stage and now he could literally do anything and I wouldn’t flinch. 

“What’s wrong with me?” I asked him, following Taeyong and Kai’s bodyguard (what was his name? I forget) to our car. Seeing the back of Taeyong’s head, I remembered that he had been cool for the past few days. Maybe I could be friends with him after all.

“Did you even see the way he was looking at us?” Kai asked as we climbed in the vehicle. “Jesus, I’ve never had someone look at me with murder in his eyes.” He shuddered, clicking his seatbelt into its lock. “Why couldn’t you have been more touchy with him and not me? Aishhh.” He hit his head against the glass of the window. “You’re really stupid.”

“I second that.” The voice came from the passenger seat up front. _What?!_

“Yah!” I burst out. He looked sharply at me through the rearview mirror. “I mean, Taeyong-ssi. Why are you calling me stupid?” He looked at us. _Was that a smile he had on his face? Sure, a smile that was making fun of me. But dang, he was smiling?!_ “I can’t believe this. You two are ganging up against me now?”

“It’s because you go around completely oblivious of life and make everything worse,” Kai interjected. “You’re just dense. That’s all.”

“Wow. Thanks.” I muttered. “At least I’m not a coward.” I folded my arms. “How’s Sehun, by the way? You, uh, talk to him recently?”

Kai promptly turned red. “Oh. Um. No.”

“And why is that?”

“Yah, you know I’ve been busy.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

 

\- 

“Yah, where do you think you’re going?” Stiff calloused fingers wrapped around my wrist and yanked me back. “Are you crazy? That’s the border.” I glared up at Kai and wrestled my arm free. 

“Why do you care?” I shot back. “None of you give a damn about me anyway. Let me cross it. With luck, I’ll get killed.” I turned back around to gaze fiercely at the river, wind whipping through my hair. 

“Why are you being like this?” He shouted. “Can’t you understand? Don’t you know what they’ll do to you?” He reached out and gripped my arm again. 

“They’re not dangerous,” I whispered, my voice barely heard over the wind. Kai froze.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” He spat. 

I closed my eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re going to see him, aren’t you? Your boyfriend from across the river?”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” I yelled. 

“Then why do you care?” Kai steered me away from the river. 

“He’s in danger!” I cried, pulling as hard as I could to get away. “I need to help him!” 

Kai roughly grabbed my shoulders and shook me. I was stunned into silence. “Listen. There’s nothing you can do for him. If you go to see him now, he’ll only be in even more danger. So if you want him safe, listen to me. Don’t cross the river.”

I burst into tears and fell, limp. Kai stood over me, unsure of what to do for a moment, but then lifted me to my feet. 

“It’s for your own good,” he whispered. “Stay away from the river.”

“CUT!”

Kai immediately let go of me and I fell to the ground. “Ow!” I whined. “What was that for?”

He pointed at his arm, where my fingernails had cut through his skin. “For that.”

“I hate you.” 

“I love you, too.”

“Y/N, Kai, please clear out.” The director’s gruff voice reached us and I scrambled to my feet, bowing and rushing out of frame. I stood beside Kai, watching the others act, when suddenly my stylist came over with my phone. Chanyeol was calling. I thanked her and tiptoed to a distance away to answer it. The director hated it when we slacked off during a shoot. 

“Chan?” 

“Y/N, can you come see me now? Is your shoot over?”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Now? Why?”

“Just come to my room. Please. But only if you’re done.”

I glanced quickly at the director and cameramen. I spotted Lucas and waved him over. “Chan, hold on a second.” I covered the mouthpiece. “Lucas, could you find out whether my scenes for today are over?” He nodded and dashed off to the assistant directors. I watched anxiously as he conversed with them. At last, he looked over at me and gave me a thumbs up. I smiled. “Yeah, Chan, I’m done for the day.”

“Then get your ass over here.” He hung up.

I sighed, scouring the area for Taeyong. I held my hand over my eyes, shielding myself from the light. I couldn’t see him anywhere. 

“Looking for someone?” A voice spoke directly behind me. I jumped. Taeyong.

“Hey, don’t do that,” I pleaded, a hand over my heart. “You scared me.” He smirked. I’m going to ignore you. “Hey, can you drive me to the hotel? Chan asked for me.”

Taeyong shrugged. “It’s my job. Come on then.”

The ride back to the hotel was quiet. Not awkward, just quiet. As if Taeyong was aware that I wanted peace and quiet. I was grateful, anyway, but I was fully intending to start conversation. 

“Have you been watching the shooting every day?” I asked curiously.

“Yes.”

“What do you think of the drama? Have you read the script?” 

He shook his head. “I’ve heard the outline. I think it’s pretty interesting.”

“It’s inspired by a book. One More River by Lynne Reid Banks.”

“I’ve never heard of it.”

I smiled. “Not many people have. I have a copy. You want to read it?”

He let out a breathy chuckle. “Sure. Why not?” 

When he pulled up in front of the hotel, I bounced right out, eager to give him the book. “Y/N-ssi, wait!” I heard him calling and slowed down only a moment. 

I unlocked my room and kicked off my shoes, running to my suitcase to find the book. When I found it, I thumbed at the worn edges before turning around. Taeyong hadn’t come inside, choosing to respect that this room was my space. 

“You can come inside, you know,” I remarked, handing the book to him. “I’m going next door to see Chan. You can wait here if you want. I don’t think he lets people into his studio.” He inclined his head and watched warily as I padded over to the adjacent room and knocked. 

“Come in!” I turned the knob, but it didn’t budge. 

I hit the door with my fist. “Yah! Idiot! Don’t tell me to come in after you locked it.”

“Crap, I’m sorry!” I heard him shuffling around. “Wait a sec.” I heard thuds on the other side of the door. I was aware that Taeyong was watching me from outside my room. And I also knew that he must be looking at me with that amused smile of his. With a sharp click, the door opened. 

“What is it?” I asked, walking inside and plopping down on the sofa. “What couldn’t wait until I got back—Oh. Wendy?” I raised my eyebrows at the young woman who had just stepped out of the bathroom. Chanyeol slammed the door shut. “Chan…why am I here?”

“Don’t misunderstand, you pervert,” he snapped. “She’s working on the soundtrack with me. We called you here because we want you to sing for the album.”

I must not have heard him right. “I’m sorry, what?”

Wendy laughed aloud. “You’re going to sing. We called you here to listen to the track.”

“You want me to sing?” I couldn’t believe my ears. “Why me?”

“Good point.” Chanyeol’s phone rang suddenly. “Ah. What a coincidence.” He slid his finger over the answer button. “Yeah, Kai? Yeah, Y/N’s here with me….Who?….Ah, hello, Chang Wook-ssi. Could you come over for a while?….no, nothing serious….Yeah, Y/N’s fine. Could you—oh. Okay. Thanks.” 

“What was that?” I asked furiously as he tossed his phone onto the bed. 

He smirked teasingly. “Someone was pretty concerned that you weren’t there.”

“Why did you ask him over?”

“Both of you are singing a duet.”

My eyes popped. “Why with him? Why not with Kai?” 

“Because that would be boring for me.” He shrugged. 

“I can’t believe this,” I wailed. “The entire world is against me.”

“Oh shut up, drama queen.” Chan flicked my forehead. “Literally.” The doorknob turned gently and Taeyong poked his head inside. 

“I heard someone crying,” He explained. “Are you okay, Y/N?”

I nodded and gave him an A-OK sign. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just…rehearsing.” He forced a smile and withdrew, the door snapping shut behind him. 

Chanyeol started laughing. “Takes his work a bit too seriously, doesn’t he?”

“Yeah he does, and that’s a good thing,” I defended. “If something happened to me, you would blame him first, you hypocrite.” 

Chan stared at me. “No. I would blame myself.”

Both of us glared at each other until Wendy broke the tension in the room. 

“So, is anyone hungry?…”

 

\- 

Around two weeks later, I found myself completely unable to sleep one night. Sighing, I rolled over to switch on the light. Might as well get in some practice rehearsing the dialogues for tomorrow. I found my script and sat down on the sofa to look through it, highlighting my dialogues and mouthing them.

I was almost nodding off when I heard a knock at the door. I sat up, checking the time on my phone. It was almost midnight. Who was it at this hour?

I crept to the door and opened it slowly, just a crack. Chang Wook’s face smiled at me. I let him inside, confused, but glad to see him nevertheless.

“I couldn’t sleep,” he explained before I could ask. “I saw your light on and thought I could keep you company.” I smiled.

“I was rehearsing tomorrow’s scenes,” I offered. 

He brightened. “That’s cool. Maybe we could practice together?” I nodded. 

 

-

“I’ll be okay,” Chang Wook whispered to me, sliding a hand under my jaw. “You don’t need to worry.”

“How can I not?” I answered his silent plea. “You mean too much to me.”

“Nothing is worth your life.” He brushed back a lock of my hair. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

“But you are,” I murmured, my fingers finding his shirt and gripping it. “You’re worth everything. I would do anything if it meant saving you.”

“You can do anything.” His face contorted in pain. “Anything except cross the river.”

“Then why do you return?” I asked, despair in my voice. “Stay with me.”

“My family,” he replied, sorrowfully. “They need me.” He moved my hair away from my face. “You’re so beautiful. But they would never accept you. You would be miserable there.”

“What do you want me to do?” I pleaded. 

“Wait for me.” He sighed. “When this war is over, I will come back to you. I promise.”

“And until then?” I couldn’t keep the desperation out of my tone. “Until then?”

He glanced briefly at my lips. “Until then?” He leaned forward. My heart leapt. His lips pressed against mine and a shudder ran through my body. I responded meekly, trying hard to remain in character. 

He broke away quickly but didn’t move away, his eyes searching mine. 

_What was my line?_

“I will wait for you,” I murmured. “I promise.” 

There was a long pause. I thought that he had forgotten his dialogue. 

“Wook—“ The rest of my sentence faded into nothingness as Chang Wook tugged the script from my hands and tossed it onto the coffee table. “What—“

And then he was kissing me. Really kissing me. As if his life depended on it. His broad hands ran up the sides of my body, sending shivers through me, before finally coming to rest cupping my face. His fingers ran through my hair, pushing me higher through the clouds, dizzy. I whimpered involuntarily. The kiss was insistent, forcing through my defences, ripping my sanity apart. His lips never stopped moving against mine, breaking apart only to draw in a breath, kissing me over and over and over….

I gasped, pulling away. His eyes were hooded, pupils dilated, bedroom eyes. Pure seduction. I found that I couldn’t help but swoon at the strands of hair stuck to his sweaty forehead, the way his lips were red and slightly parted, how his chest was heaving up and down. I couldn’t bear to look at him for long. 

“What are we doing?” I managed to ask, heart still racing. He seemed to ponder his answer. 

“I like you,” he said simply. 

The words went straight to my gut. “What?” I asked faintly. 

He wet his lips. “I’m sorry if I….I’m sorry. But I like you, Y/N. I like you a lot.”

Where did words go? How to speak? What is my thought process right now?

I swallowed thickly. “I…I really like you, Chang Wook, but….” I hesitated. “I don’t know. I don’t know whether….whether I like you as an idol or as a man. I….I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

He nodded. “I shouldn’t have….I’m really sorry, Y/N. Take your time. I should go….um. Good night.” He stood up hastily, bowed and let himself out. 

And me? I cried myself to sleep, hugging my knees to my chest. 

What was I doing? I didn’t have a clue.

 

\---


	2. Budding, Blooming, Wilting

“You look awful,” Kai commented as I trudged out of my hotel room towards the elevator. He slung an arm over my shoulder and I sagged under the pressure. I was fully aware that I looked a mess. I had barely gotten any sleep, thinking and overthinking about the implications and the consequences. It was only by daybreak that I realized what my answer was going to be. My mind was still in a whirl and I paid no attention to what Kai was saying. I rested my head against the wall of the elevator, letting my eyelids close. 

“The hell were you doing last night?” He asked. “You didn’t sleep?”

I yawned in response. “I was practicing my dialogues.”

“Aishh, the makeup noonas have a heck of a job today making you look even remotely good.” He tugged at the strands of my hair. “You literally just rolled out of bed, didn’t you?”

The elevator doors pinged and slid open. To my surprise and horror, the elevator opposite ours opened at the same time. 

“Shit,” I whispered, avoiding my gaze. 

“Good morning, hyung!” Kai said cheerfully, waving to Chang Wook, who had just stepped out. “Seems like a good day for shooting, huh?” 

“Oh. Yes. It does.” I heard Chang Wook reply, and then his footsteps marching swiftly away.

“That’s weird. Why does he look so tired? Did something happen in the night that I slept through—Wait!” He turned to me in alarm and I glanced sideways at him. “You’re tired. He’s tired. You were practicing your dialogues? But today is that—“

I slapped a hand over his mouth. “You will say nothing to anyone.”

He pried my hands away. “So you…you two….”

I sighed. “I didn’t mean for it to happen.”

He shrieked and clutched his hair. “What are you saying, you idiot? How are you so calm about this? Oh god, please tell me you were safe.”

It finally clicked, what he was saying. “Aishh!” I yelped, smacking his arm. “Not like that! We didn’t….ugh. It was only a kiss.”

He sighed in relief. “Oh. Oh thank god.”

I bowed my head. “You really don’t want it to happen, do you?” My voice was hoarse.

A pause. “Y/N, you know it’s not like that.” He placed a hand tentatively on my shoulder. “I can’t help but feel like this is going to end badly and I don’t want to see you hurt.” He ruffled my hair. “But if it makes you happy, you know that I’m going to stand by you through it all.”

I reluctantly smiled. 

“That’s the spirit!” Kai boomed. “Now go get your man.”

 

-

I rolled my eyes at the mirror and scowled at my reflection. I still looked gross. No matter how hard the stylists tried, they weren’t able to make me look decent. 

“Stop fussing around.” One of them scolded me sharply. “You look fine. I don’t understand why you think you don’t. Either way, you’re country folk in the drama. It’s okay to look a little worn.” She patted my shoulder. I sighed. 

“Yeah, sure. We’ll see.”

I fixed my gaze onto the mirror again, pouting a little. 

“Taeyong-ssi!” I heard someone call outside the trailer. I turned in my seat briefly. I couldn’t hear anything else. Ah, whatever. 

The door opened. Through the mirror, I saw Taeyong enter, holding a clipboard and flipping through it curiously. I didn’t speak, I just watched him. He turned a page, and after skimming it, he frowned. I squinted. He looks angry. What happened? 

“Taeyong?” I asked loudly, breaking him from his thoughts. His head shot up to face me. Clearing his throat, he bowed stiffly. 

“Ah, yes, Y/N,” he began. “Your script.” He thrust the clipboard at me and I took it, surprised. 

“Oh. Thanks.” I smoothed out the first page. “Shall we go?” I glanced up at him. He was staring at me intensely, like I had done something unforgivable to him. He held that gaze for a while longer before speaking.

“I just remembered. I have…uh. Some work to do. You can go by yourself, can’t you?”

The trailer door slammed shut. I was bewildered. What just happened? Did I do something? Is he mad at me, or is today just a bad day for him? 

I shrugged. Whatever it was, he would get over it.

 

-

I was this close to swooning and collapsing into a heap. Chang Wook looked absolutely fantastic all beaten up. That sort of made me a bad person, I knew it. But it was fake. And it looked so attractive. From what happened in the morning, I assumed that he had looked as horrible as I did. But his makeup artist didn’t bother trying to make him seem completely fresh. With his already tired face, the effect of the makeup was tenfold. I flashed him an awkward smile before we took our places in front of the camera. 

And then I was running, running, to him, and he collapsed on the riverbank, in the cover of the trees. I fell at his side, helping him sit up, his face mere inches away from me. 

He struggled to breathe. His hands and face were bloody, like he had escaped a thousand soldiers to get to me. I pressed my lips together, trying hard not to cry. 

“I’ll be okay,” he whispered to me, a hand cupping my face. “You don’t need to worry.”

“How can I not?” I answered. “You mean too much to me.”

“Nothing is worth your life.” He brushed back a lock of my hair. “I wouldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

“But you are,” I murmured, my fingers finding his shirt and gripping it. “You’re worth everything. I would do anything if it meant saving you.”

“You can do anything.” His face contorted in pain. “Anything except cross the river.”

I was only vaguely aware of the camera now. Only aware of the others there as if they were a part of this dream. Right now it was only me, Chang Wook and the trees. 

“Wait for me.” He sighed. “When this war is over, I will come back to you. I promise.”

“And until then?” I sounded desperate. “Until then?”

“Until then?”

And like yesterday night, his lips found mine, meshing together wondrously. I grew lightheaded and had just started to respond when he pulled away. 

I gasped out, “I will wait for you.” I ran a trembling hand through his long locks. “I promise.”

I barely heard the director yell for a cut, and issue orders for it to be done in another angle. I was searching his eyes for courage. Because I had an answer, and I knew I had to speak before it was too late. 

“I like you,” I whispered, my voice hidden in the din of rearrangements. Chang Wook, who had sat up, turned sharply to me. 

“What?” Disbelief. Nothing else in his voice. No. But there was hope.

I drew in a shaky breath. “I like you, Wook.”

He sat there, stunned for a moment, then dropped in head shyly. His faint dimples shone. I laughed, in spite of myself. There was one command, “Action!” and our lips were together again, pulling each other closer, closer, impossibly so. 

 

-

**“It was only a glance, nothing more than chance**  
that I saw you, your eyes; across the river, so wide…”  
_“…and I fell, so hard, when you opened your heart  
your lips, your smile; and it’s been a while….”_

 

-

“This is stupid,” I declared, dropping my bag and sitting down on the riverbank. I pouted at Chang Wook, who was trying his best to haul in a little rowboat that had been anchored a little offshore. The sun was just setting and the sky had turned into an illusion. Soon it would grow dark. I could still see him, silhouetted against the orange backdrop. The light made him glow. He looked beautiful. 

He pulled hard, one last tug, muscles straining against the fabric of his t-shirt. I smirked to myself at the sight. The boat obeyed his strength, gliding closer to us. I looked around me swiftly, just to check whether there was anyone nearby. Technically, we had slipped away from the rest of the bunch, to come down to the river where Chang Wook had found a rowboat near the cover of the trees. He was adamant at testing it out, and excited as I was, I was tired and this was taking too long. 

“Just a little longer,” he panted. “Could you get my backpack?” I nodded, pushing myself to my feet and trudging over to where he had kept his rucksack at the base of a tree. We weren’t supposed to be out here; only the trees and the water would be witness. I lifted the backpack. 

“What do you have in here?” I asked, half dragging it to him. He only smiled mysteriously. 

“You’ll see.” Tossing his backpack into the boat, he held out his hand. I carefully took it, loving the roughness under my palm. I stepped into the boat and he followed, holding the sides steady so I wouldn’t fall.

“What are you planning, Wook?” I asked suspiciously. “You’re up to something.” 

He shrugged. “No I’m not.” I shook my head but let it slide. I fell silent as the sun dropped below the horizon completely, casting darkness over the scene. Chang Wook pulled and pushed the oars and the boat glided underneath the canopy of trees bordering the river. The wide sweeping willows hung their branches over the water. A smile broke out on my face seeing the long lanky branches surround us, as if we were rowing through curtains. Tiny white nocturnal flowers glowed here and there like stars. 

Once we were deep enough to be unseen, Chang Wook brought the boat to a halt. Setting the oars aside, he reached for my hand. I shivered. 

“You’re cold,” I laughed. “Go away.” 

He grinned cheekily and began rubbing my hands and his together. I gave him a shy smile. This felt so exciting. I didn’t think I would enjoy breaking rules so much but Wook exuded such exuberant energy, almost like a child and his pouty face was too irresistible to refuse. What could I do? 

“But why are we here?” I asked again. 

“What, can’t a person come here to enjoy nature?” He replied innocently.

“Sure,” I answered, seeing right through his playfulness. “But you’re not here for that.”

He sighed. “You’re right. I’m not.” He released my hands and began to rummage about in his rucksack. I watched him curiously. At last he pulled out a thin rectangular package, gift wrapped, and held it out. “Happy birthday, Y/N.” 

My mouth fell open. “How did you know?” I reached out hesitantly and took it from him. It was shaped like a book. I shook it, but as expected, there was no sound. 

“I have my ways,” came the mysterious answer. 

I narrowed my eyes at him, getting to work at picking the paper covering it. Halfway through, I realized I was right. It was a book. After tearing the paper off, I found that it had no title. I opened it to the middle and found blank pages. “It’s a notebook!” I exclaimed. He nodded.

“I know you like to write,” he explained. “I thought you’d like a place to put your thoughts.”

I smiled at him, clutching the book to my chest. The moonlight broke through the trees and cast its silvery glow around us.

“Open the first page,” he whispered. I looked down at the notebook in surprise. Slowly, I opened the outer cover to the first page. There, in his messy but mesmerizing handwriting were the words:

_this morning_  
i told the flowers  
what i'd do for you  
and they blossomed 

 

I choked back my surprise and bliss. My eyes found his and locked. I gave him a watery smile. “Thank you.” 

He pulled me into his arms. “Thank you.”

 

-

**“Since the blossoms have grown,**  
Since the birds have flown  
From me to you, across the river… 

**And one day, the cherry blossoms will bloom…”**  
_“…and I will see them, standing here, across the river…”_  
**“Just a word, a promise,**  
You will see me coming to you;  
I will come to you, across the river…” 

 

-

I wasn’t due in for the shoot until after the clock struck twelve. So, obviously I slept until ten. Honestly, I was so tired that I probably wouldn’t have woken up at all if it weren’t for Kai pounding on my door and yelling at me to get up. I cursed and grumbled about his ungrateful ass, but went to open the door anyway. 

“Why does it always happen like this?” I groaned. “Whenever I get to stay in, your sorry ass will too. It’s not fair.” 

“Good morning to you, too.” Kai walked across the entrance, almost tripping over my coffee mug, to rip open the curtains. “Jeez, can’t you keep this place clean? Why is the mug on the floor?”

“I fell asleep,” I whined. “Let it go for today. I’m too tired.” 

He made a show of checking his watch. “It’s ten in the morning. You’ve slept how long? How are you still tired? Go brush your teeth.” He prodded me in the small of my back, nudging me towards the washroom. 

“I was up all night writing lyrics,” I said. “They have to be at least a little bit good, right? I don’t want Channie to rip the paper and throw the pieces at me.”

“For the song? Jesus, we’ll get you a lyricist. Go brush your teeth, we’re getting brunch.”

I perked up at the mention of food. “Brunch? Really?” 

“Thought that might make you move faster,” Kai chuckled. “Really. Now go get ready.”

 

-

After a fulfilling brunch (we spotted a bunch of nasty paparazzi but Kai made a detour), Kai drove us to the location of the shoot. We weren’t at the river today. We were in the town near the reservoir. The buildings were pretty old, but quaint, and I loved the way the people were able to live so smoothly with nature. Most of them made a living in agriculture, and all of them were so helpful. 

I got out of the car with Kai in tow and passed several houses, bowing and greeting what seemed to be half its population. I heard so many comments on how precious we were, and I couldn’t help but turn to look at him in amusement. He cracked a smile. 

Near the reservoir, cameras and lights had been set up, although we didn’t need them during the day. Today’s shoot was probably going to last through the night. 

My eyes spotted Chang Wook and I waved. He didn’t seem to have noticed that I had arrived. I stuck my tongue out in his direction, knowing that he wouldn’t see it. He didn’t have any scenes with me today, so it wasn’t unexpected that he failed to see me. 

“Seohyun noona is over there,” Kai muttered in my ear. “I’m going to go and say hello.” When I raised my eyebrows at him, he flicked my forehead. “You know it’s not like that. I should keep contact even though she left the agency right? She’s very well connected.” I nodded and he slipped away to stay in Seohyun’s good books. I fixed my eyes of Chang Wook, hoping that he would at least look at me.

But try as I might, all day, I couldn’t speak to him at all. Of course, both of us were busy and our scenes didn’t overlap, but still, given his childish clinginess, he should have at least tried to steal a kiss or two in between shots. I wouldn’t have thought he was avoiding me if it hadn’t been for that one incident. I was only walking down the gravelled road that divided the town and I spotted him standing by a house and talking politely to the ajhumma that lived there. I had to stop and admire him for a moment, The way he laughed and smiled. I was barely five yards away when he caught sight of me, froze, spoke something to the old woman, and dashed away. I was stunned and hurt. 

My fingertips traced a path along the railing of the staircase that led to the top of the reservoir. I frowned, staring up at it and wondering whether it was really necessary to climb all the way up. Two steps up, I sat down and propped my head up on my palms, elbows digging into my thighs. 

“Yah.” I didn’t bother to look up. Kai sat down beside me. “You okay?”

I hummed in assent. 

“You notice anything weird about Wook hyung today?”

I immediately sat up straight. “You felt it, too?”

He nodded. “Something’s up. I don’t know what it is.”

“Yeah. I thought I might have done something wrong.”

Suddenly Kai’s phone rang. He jumped at the vibration and fished it out of his pocket. “It’s Chan.” Sliding his finger across the answer key, he set the phone on speaker. “Hyung?” 

“Kai! Where’s Y/N?” 

“Um, here with me? It’s on speaker.”

I heard him inhale sharply. “Guys, we have a problem.”

“What problem, Channie?” I asked, worry beginning to creep up on me. 

“Check the news. This morning’s.” Beep. Beep. 

“Aishh, why is he like this?” Kai furiously tapped at his phone. “Always stopping short of the point.” I nodded empathetically. 

“He wants his drama, Channie does,” I remarked, peering over Kai’s shoulder as he scrolled through the morning’s news. “Can’t bear living a normal life, can h—Wait! Scroll back up,” I ordered Kai. I pointed to an article that had gone unseen by him. Reading the headline, my heart slowed to a stop. Kai exhaled. 

“What the hell?” I exclaimed, snatching the phone away from him. “What is this?!” Kai groaned, burying his head in his arms. My gaze ran over the content, speechless. _SM confirms that Y/N, the agency’s successful rookie in acting and Kai of EXO are dating! The couple is starring in Park Sunho’s soon-to-be historical drama, “As The River Flows”! Lovebirds Y/N and Kai spotted at a restaurant. A date?_

I couldn’t form words in my rage. Wordlessly, I handed the phone back to Kai, who didn’t spare it a glance. 

“How dare they.” My voice shook. “How dare they do this?” A moment of silence passed as I tried to construct my next move. “Call him.” I pointed a trembling finger at Kai’s phone. “Call your manager.”

He nodded, jaw set in anger, his nimble fingers already pressing the call button. He waited for a beat, then put it on speaker. I heard it ring twice before Kai’s manager answered it. 

“Yes, Jongin?” 

“What the hell are you all playing at, hyung?” He nearly growled. 

A long drawn out sigh issued from the mouthpiece. I heard him say to someone on the other side. “Hyuk, the kids found out.” 

I thought I would burst. How dare my own manager throw me to the sharks like this?! What have I done to deserve this? “Aha! So Hyuk is there too!” 

“Hyuk hyung! Why are you people like this?” Kai spat. “Is it fun, ruining friendships and lives to satisfy your craving for publicity?” 

“Kai, stop it,” he snapped. “Of course we didn’t decide to do this. The agency did.”

“Don’t talk like you’re not part of the agency,” I retorted. “This couldn’t happen without you two knowing it would.”

There was a long pause. “Y/N. Understand. Half the relationships you see plastered all over the news each day are publicity stunts. This time it’s your turn. That’s all. Just take it in stride until the drama ends. There’s nothing we can do about it.” 

I jabbed at the ‘end call’ button. “I hate them.”

Kai pocketed his phone. “I hate this. It feels so awkward, I mean, you’re my best friend, for heaven’s sake!”

“I know!” I cupped my chin in my palms. “That must be why Wook was avoiding me all day.”

“Aishh, it’s not even like you’re Seh—oh shit!” He burst out. “Sehun! Do you think he saw this?” He frantically scurried to unlock his phone again. Agitated, he stood up, a hand in his pockets, then a hand through his hair, then tapping his foot impatiently as he waited for him to pick up. I crossed my fingers.  
Kai paced back and forth, talking low and serious to Sehun, using exaggerated hand gestures to get his point across. From my viewpoint, it wasn’t going very well. 

“I swear I’m telling you the truth, Sehun!” Kai exclaimed almost angrily. “I really had no idea that it happened.”

Two seconds later, he hung up and collapsed down next to me. 

“No luck?” I asked sympathetically. He shook his head.

“He said he would call back.” He hit his fist against his head. 

“Hey!” I held his fist back. “Don’t do that. He’ll understand.”

He sighed. “I’m really sorry about Wook hyung. Let’s go tell him what really happened.”

 

-

I knocked on Chang Wook’s door almost as soon as I got back. I ducked out of the way so he wouldn’t refuse to open it once he saw me through the peephole. I heard shuffling and the rustling of paper, but soon I felt his presence on the other side of the door. With a heavy click of the lock, the door creaked open. I pushed my way inside as fast as I could, before he could contemplate closing it. 

“Y/N?” he asked, confused and surprised at my forced entry, but I also thought I could detect a hint of defiance in his tone. “What are you doing here? Isn’t it late? You should go to—“

I cut straight to the point. “Why are you avoiding me?”

He was at a loss for words. “I’m not avoiding you. I was a bit busy today, so—“

I held up a hand. “Listen, Wook, I know I haven’t been using much honorifics, but don’t make me disrespect you totally.”

He pursed his lips, making a sour expression. “You don’t know why?” Ah, so I was right. He is mad because of the article. I opened my mouth to explain, but he continued. “Why return my feelings if you were with someone else? I felt it from the first day I met you, that you were too close to him. But still—“

“It’s not true, you idiot!” I burst out, formalities thrown out the window. “It’s a publicity stunt that our agency set up!” 

His gaze was cold. “But you have to be seen with him now, not me. Why didn’t you oppose them or something?”

“Because I didn’t know about it!” I fumed. “It was all done behind our backs. Both of us chewed out our managers for betraying us like that!”

“She’s telling the truth, hyung,” a voice spoke behind us. Kai had come inside silently. “We had nothing to do with this.”

The two men glared at each other. “How do I know?” Chang Wook asked.

Kai seemed as defiant as I was. “If you’re asking me if I love her, then yes, I do. But like a sister. She’s my best friend. Chan’s too. I would do anything for her.” He folded his arms. “You make her happy. And I’m not going to let her suffer losing you because of me.” 

I smiled softly to myself at the sentiment. 

“Besides,” Kai added, straightening his shirt, “I’m in love with someone else.”

Chang Wook bowed his head. “I’m sorry,” he said at last. “I shouldn’t have….misinterpreted the situation. I’m really sorry, Y/N, Kai.”

I went to him and slid my arms around his waist. “Don’t be.” I nuzzled my head into his chest. “You know now.”

 

-

**“Are you an illusion, a magic spell?**  
I’m afraid of it, I don’t know how to tell…”  
_“…Is this real? Am I yours?_  
In your heart, have I a place?  
Among the cherry blossoms, am I just another face?” 

 

-

“Give it back!” I cried, jumping up to try and snatch my notebook from Chang Wook. He held it well out of my reach, above his head, opening it there and reading what I had written inside it. Or rather, he was trying to; what with my incessant leaping up and down and pulling at his arms, his shirt, even his hair, I sure wasn’t making it easier. “Wook, stop it! That’s my personal stuff!” I shoved at him as hard as I could, but he barely moved. “Wook….” I whined. “Give it back.”

He stuck his tongue out and wiggled the book tantalizingly. “Let me see it first.”

“You’re not supposed to! Aishh…” I tugged hard at his arm in vain. Spotting a stool nearby, I placed a foot on it and leapt, straight onto his back, hooking one arm around his neck and the other tried desperately to seize the book. He immediately lowered the book, holding it straight out in front of him, and my arms weren’t as long as his. “Wook!” 

“Yah, they’re lyrics?” He asked, interested. “Oh, is it for the song Chanyeol asked us to sing?”

I hopped down and folded my arms. “Yes. But give it back already.”

“Why?” he asked, laughing. “You’re going to sing these anyway, why hide them?” 

“Chan’s going to edit it, of course!” I swatted at him. “You can read it after that.”

“Nope.” He began walking towards his trailer. “I’m going to read them. Then I can add mine, right?” He stepped onto the ledge outside the door. I made one final grab at my notebook, but he was too fast. “See you later, Y/N.”

I pouted as the door swung shut, and trudged reluctantly towards the set. Before I could get there, however, a staff member ran up to me. She thrust something metallic into my hand and spoke in a rushed voice, “You’ll see Chang Wook, won’t you? Tell him that Taeyong returned his motorcycle and give the keys to him, okay?” With no more than that, she dashed off, evidently in a hurry. 

“Taeyong?” I asked out loud, even though no one was there to hear it. “My Taeyong?” For a split second, I didn’t even register what I had said, then I covered my mouth, embarrassed. I glanced swiftly around me to make sure no one had heard that. I smacked the side of my head. “Where did that come from? What the hell, since when do you own him? My Taeyong, seriously, Y/N.”

“Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness, you know.” I rolled my eyes. 

“Actually it’s a sign of intelligence, I don’t know where you get your facts, Chan.” I scoffed. He stabbed at the back of my neck with his fingers. “What happened? What made you leave your hotel room?”

He shrugged. “Thought it would be nice to see some greenery. Speaking of which,” he turned to me, “how’s the song coming on? You’ve tried at the lyrics?” 

I nodded. “Yeah. I did.”

He held his hand out. “Can I have them then?” 

I frowned. “Wook stole my book. The lyrics are in it.”

He snickered. “Yeah? Okay, I’ll ask him for it then.”

“Yeah, get my book back if you can.”

He ruffled my hair. “Lay off the guy, Y/N. I swear, if you treat him like you treat us, then I don’t know if he’ll be around very long.” 

“Don’t be stupid,” I muttered, red dusting my cheeks. 

“Aw, you’re so cute. But yeah, where’s Kai?” He shielded his eyes and scanned the area. Soon enough, he squinted. “Is that Seohyun?” 

“Probably.”

“Dang, she’s still fine as hell. I haven’t seen her in so long.” 

I let out a huffy laugh. “Why don’t you go and talk to her, then?” He nodded. 

“Yeah. I am.” Slapping my palm in a high five, he strolled away to cause a ruckus in places he didn’t belong. I shook my head. Chan was never going to change.

 

-

I twirled the keys on my finger as I stepped out of the elevator. Stopping outside Chang Wook’s door, I raised my fist to knock, but then I hesitated. If my book is with him, then why should I return his keys? An eye for an eye. Maybe tonight I’ll go and spray paint it. 

I quickly pocketed the keys and spun around to rush into my own room. 

 

-

I grasped the lock on the door and dragged it open as quietly as I could. The door let out a loud creak and I winced, immediately ceasing all movement, listening to find out whether anyone had stirred. Hearing no movement, I gently pressed the door back into place and tiptoed past the other rooms through the hallway. The keys were clutched tightly in my hand. I was so close to the stairs when I heard a door open and an all-too familiar voice speak. 

“Where do you think you’re going?”

I froze and whirled around, hiding the keys behind my back. Taeyong stood in front of the room he shared with Lucas, arms folded, feet tapping impatiently, waiting for an answer. I put on an innocent smile. “Nowhere. Just wanted some fresh air.”

He didn’t seem convinced. “Save the acting for the set, yeah? Tell me the truth.”

Looking at his face, I didn’t find the heart to lie. “How did you even know I was out of my room? I was quiet.”

He smirked. “You won’t believe the sixth sense that I’ve developed working with these kids—and you, don’t forget—especially this one.” He jabbed his thumb behind him. I took it to mean Lucas. “You’re stalling. Where were you really going?”

I sighed. “I wanted some soju.” 

He raised his eyebrows. “You were seriously going out at this hour to get soju? Alone?” I hung my head. 

“I was also going to prank Wook,” I added, hoping that would ease his verdict. 

“Wook hyung? Why?” He rubbed at his eyes and stifled a yawn. 

Remembering something, I changed the topic. “Speaking of which, you know how to ride a motorcycle?” 

His mouth parted in surprise. “How do you know that?” I dangled the keys from my finger and shook them. He looked confused. “But…I gave that to a stylist noona? How…?” 

I shrugged. “She was in a hurry and asked me to give it to him.”

“Then give it to him! Wasn’t that a simple enough request?” He ran his hand through his hair. “Aishh, Wook hyung is going to kill me for not returning it. He must think I don’t keep my word.” He frowned to himself. 

I paused for a beat and then spoke, “Where did you go with his motorcycle?”

“To see a friend.” 

“Could you come with me, then?” 

His smile vanished. “Come where? To his house?”

I shook my head. “Ah, no. To get soju.” 

He pursed his lips, clearly not happy with the fact that I wanted to go out so late. “We’ll get soju tomorrow. Go to sleep now.”

I stamped my foot. “I’m going whether or not you come with me.” I promptly spun on my heels and set off at a brisk pace down the stairs. Before I had gone down one floor, I heard footsteps running to catch up to me. Taeyong was pulling on a jacket and grumbling about losing his sleep. I smiled to myself. 

We made it to the ground floor and I was about to open the door that led from the staircase to the lobby when he seized my wrist, pulling me back. 

“This isn’t a time that you should be seen out,” he whispered. “We’ll go out through the side door.” He pulled me away from those doors and led me to another on the other side, behind the stairs. “This is supposed to be the fire escape, I think.” He tugged experimentally at the handle; to my surprise, it opened. “Obviously it would be open at all times.”

I made to step outside, but he pulled me back again. “What now?”

He fished around in his pocket and drew out two black masks. “Wear this. I’m not getting in trouble for taking you around the city at midnight.” I accepted it gratefully, not having considered the consequences my going out would bring him. I knew I would get scolded for going out and if anyone had managed to take pictures, then my face would be plastered over the news for a couple hours, but I hadn’t thought about Taeyong. He would most definitely get fired. 

He opened the door slowly, looked around twice and gestured for me to come outside. 

“Keys?” he asked, his palm up. I placed them in his hand and he started the bike. Climbing on, he zipped his jacket up to his neck. I just stood there, having second thoughts about it all. He looked back at me. “You’re not getting on?”

“Do you really know how to drive this thing?” I whispered anxiously. He laughed, his eyes disappearing. 

“Don’t you trust me?”

I sighed, tentatively placing a foot on the side and hoisting myself up onto it. I gripped the handle at the back, hesitating to touch him. He noticed the lack of contact. 

“Yah, if you don’t hold on, you’re going to fall off and everyone would be in trouble.” He patted his shoulder. “Just grab on. It doesn’t matter.” He unhooked the helmet from the handlebars and fitted it over his head. I gripped his shoulders. Taeyong cleared his throat. “Um, Y/N? Could I….Can I show you something? I saw it on my way back yesterday.”

“What is it?” I asked nervously. 

“Do you trust me?” The words were quiet, but demanding. 

“I trust you with my life every single day.”

“Then it’s a surprise. I want to see your reaction. I want you to feel what I felt when I saw it.” He revved up the motorcycle. “Hold on, now.” I held onto him tightly as he zipped out of the parking lot and the hotel compound. My eyes were squeezed tightly shut as I felt the bike turn this way and that. When I opened an eye to peek, I found that we were on the highway. 

I was so awed at the night lights and the emptiness of the road in front of us that I forgot to be afraid. I lifted my head up and took in the sights around me. The momentum was still scaring me, like with every turn I would fall off. I knew I must be hurting him with the force I was using to hold onto his shoulders, but I couldn’t possibly let go, not at the speed we were going. 

Fifteen minutes. It seemed too short, but before long, he was turning off into a dirt road. There were no lights around anymore. I wanted to ask him how he could see where he was going, but I decided against it. He wouldn’t be able to hear me anyway. 

Within a minute, we had reached a patch of trees. He brought the motorcycle to a halt and turned off the ignition. I hopped off of it, sliding my mask down. I waited for him to take his helmet off. “Where are we?”

“Come on,” he said, beckoning for me to follow him through the trees. I was puzzled to find that the tree growth wasn’t as thick as I’d thought it would be. A faint bluish light diffused through them. 

“What’s going on—Oh!” I exclaimed. we had broken through the tree cover. Soft blue light surrounded me. 

It was a pool of water, not small enough to be a pond and not big enough to be a lake. But it lay in the clearing; surrounded, possibly protected by the trees. The edge of the water lapped at the ground near it. But what was so breathtaking was the glow from the water. I knelt at the pool’s edge, gazing in wonder at the tiny beads of light that were immersed in it. 

“Bioluminescence,” I heard him say quietly. 

“What are they?” I asked curiously. 

“Plankton, I think. Maybe something else.” He sat down beside me. “I have no clue how they came to be here, normally they’re found in the ocean. This must be salt water.” 

I nodded, taking in the information. “How did you find this?” I lowered myself to the ground, hugging my knees to my chest. 

“I took a wrong turn yesterday.” He scooped up a handful of water, and I leaned over to admire the tiny creatures closer up. “I don’t really know. I didn’t think I could find it again.”

I smiled. “Thanks for showing me.”

He inclined his head. “You’re appreciative of beauty. I do know that much about you.”

We sat there in silence for a while, not needing to talk, just absorbing the view. 

“What did you really want to be, Taeyong?” 

He glanced over at me. “Like, if I wasn’t your bodyguard?” I nodded. He sighed. “I don’t know. I might have been a dancer or a choreographer or something.”

I raised my eyebrows. “You dance?”

“I used to, at least.”

“What made you stop?” He stiffened. I sensed that I had struck an open wound. I hastily withdrew. “I’m sorry, Taeyong, you don’t have to answer that.”

“Complications,” he sighed. “It just happened that way.”

“But don’t you want to dance again?”

He cracked a smile. “When will I have the time? You never give me a moment’s rest. The second I make sure you’re secured somewhere, you run off to someplace else. Don’t think I didn’t notice that you ran off once before.” My heart nearly stopped. 

“Well, I…it was my birthday.” I hung my head. 

“I know.”

“Forget that— you should start dancing again, Taeyong,” I told him. “You’ve got people to support you now.”

I didn’t know what emotion was in his expression as he stared at me. 

“It’s late. We’d better go.”

 

-

We sped through the road again, this time, my arms around his waist for more support. Weary, I rested my head against his back, occasionally adjusting my mask. I tried my best to not fall asleep right there, but he felt so warm. _No. Y/N. You’re going to fall off and die._ I barely noticed when he stopped outside a supermarket. 

“Y/N,” he called, rocking back and forth to rouse me. “Go get your soju.”

“Hm. Right,” I mumbled, slipping out of my daze and climbing off. I trudged inside the store, bowed to the man behind the counter and set my eyes on the drinks aisle. I picked out a few bottles and placed them in front of him. When he asked, I produced my ID and yawned. Gosh, I was tired. I didn’t even notice that my mask slipped down. I was totally oblivious of the murmurs that broke out among the staff, and of the shutter clicking noises. I had only one aim—to go back to warmth. I was cold. I jogged back to the motorcycle, finally noticing and pulling up my mask. I hopped back on, holding the plastic bag with one hand and his waist with the other. We were back on the road.

Back in the room, I yanked my shoes off. Taeyong turned on the light for me and set the bag on the table. “You should go to sleep, soon, yeah?” 

Before he could leave, I caught his arm. “Don’t be stupid. I can’t finish this soju all by myself.” His eyes widened. 

“Y/N, I’ll lose my job if—“

“Oh, shut up, don’t be silly. Have a drink.” I pulled him to the sofa. His knees hit the side of it and he toppled over. I thrust a bottle into his hand and set two glasses down on the counter. 

 

-

Despair makes itself known as fast as it can. Despair makes us want to get rid of it as fast as we can. Four bottles and an hour later, we were drunk.

“Isn’t this silly?” I giggled. 

“What?” he slurred. 

“I don’t even know, but it feels stupid.” I fell against him, knocking him onto his side on the couch. He was talking, trying to convey something, but I wasn’t paying attention. I looked up at him from where I lay almost on his lap. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” He grinned shyly.

“You’re nice to look at,” I responded. I didn’t know what I was saying anymore. 

I felt my eyes drooping, and exhaustion took over me completely. Just before sleep came, I just barely heard him speak: “You’re so beautiful, I wish you were mine.”

 

-

I was rudely awoken by shouting. An all-too familiar voice, I mused. And then my head started to throb. The light must have been so bright to filter through my eyelids, and so I covered them with my hands, fidgeting in agitation, and peeking through my fingers to try and see what was going on. I vaguely registered a figure leaping away. 

“Wha—“ I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes, nearly collapsing back on the couch because my head hurt so bad. I heard the tinkle of glass breaking as I shifted around on the sofa. 

“Yah!” 

I winced at the loud sound, but I knew who it was. “Kai?”

My eyes were still shut tightly and I felt a glass being forced into my hands. It was cold.

“Water. Drink it.”

I gratefully gulped down the liquid, relishing in the relief that coursed through my body. The room slowly came into focus. Kai stood over me, looking absolutely traumatized. I stretched, setting the glass on the table—and then I remembered. Soju bottles littered the table. 

“Go shower. Please.” His voice was stern. My face fell. I didn’t stop to argue. As I trudged towards the bathroom, I heard clinking of glass and I felt even worse. 

 

-

When I came back out of the shower, fresh and de-hungover, Kai was sitting on the sofa, waiting for me. I sat down, perching myself gingerly on the edge of the couch, guiltily. 

“Why was he here with you?” The question was direct. 

I didn’t know how to reply at first. “I…I was going out to get soju…” I began. “And he came with me.” I drew myself in. “I asked him to.”

“Why you felt the need to get soju at night, I will be talking to you later about, but couldn’t you have asked me?” 

“I didn’t want to disturb you,” I said in a small voice. “You’ve been working so hard and I know you’re tired. I’m not about to wake you up from the few hours of sleep you get to ask you to get some soju for me. And besides,” I added, “Taeyong is my bodyguard. Shouldn’t he be coming with me?”

“Coming and going I can understand.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Y/N,” he said suddenly. “I’m going to ask you something and you’ve gotta be honest.” I nodded. “Have you ever thought that Taeyong might…you know, have a crush on you?”

My mouth fell open. “What the heck are you talking about?” 

“Don’t you see it in his eyes?” Kai asked. “I can. It’s—“ he blushed, “it’s the same expression I make when I talk to Sehun.”

I absorbed that sentence. “Wait…YOU TWO GOT TOGETHER??!” I hit his arm. “What the hell, when did that happen?”

His face was red but his smile stretched uncontrollably. “Last night. Via text.”

I threw my arms around him. “Finally! I’m so happy for you!”

Neither of us remembered, or brought up Taeyong throughout the entire ride back to set. 

 

-

I stared at his back from a distance away, hiding behind the trees and squinting at him. Kai’s words repeated themselves in my head again, and again. Have you ever thought that Taeyong might…you know, have a crush on you? I shook my head. Impossible. What on earth would he be playing at? He seemed way too concerned about his job to break rules. 

“What are we looking at?” asked a voice from behind me. I jumped out of my skin, thinking wildly that it might be Taeyong for a moment. I came face to face with a structure that I had nearly forgotten about in my hangover. 

“Wook!” I let myself be crushed in his solid embrace. 

“Who are you spying on?” He asked, letting go of me and craning his neck.

“Just Kai,” I lied. “We were starting a game of hide-and-seek.” 

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “Could I play, too?”

I gazed almost disbelievingly at him. “Yeah! Sure, why not? Go hide. Let me count.” With no need for another command, Wook dashed off towards the set. 

Huffing to myself, I crept up behind Taeyong. He was looking for me, I knew it. I tapped his shoulder. He flinched. 

“Did something happen in the morning?” I asked cheerfully. “Kai seemed horrified.”

His face conveyed pure shame, pure embarrassment. “Let’s not talk about that. I feel so bad about it. Breach of duty.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Please, for god’s sake. You had a couple drinks with me. That’s not a crime.” He shook his head.

“It was more than a couple,” he muttered. I chose to ignore him, but it turned out that I didn’t need to, because his phone rang. He took it out, face paling as he read the caller ID.

“It’s your manager,” he said quietly, an aura of doom settling over us. He answered and I hastily pressed closer to hear what he was saying. All I heard were angry noises. Taeyong looked as if he was about to pass out. 

“He seems really angry,” I remarked after Taeyong cut the call. 

“He says he wants to see me.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.”

“Then I’m coming with you.”

He turned to me. “What?”

I folded my arms. “If it’s about this, then I want to be there so I can talk to him.”

 

-

“How could you be so irresponsible?” Hyuk shouted furiously, nearly shoving his phone screen into Taeyong’s face. He winced. “Her face plastered over the morning news, Jesus, this is exactly what we didn’t want to happen!” He smacked the side of Taeyong’s forehead. “And you let it happen! You had one job! I gave you that job!”

“Hyung-nim, I—“

I cut across him. “Manager-nim, it’s not his fault. It’s mine.” Both of them turned to me. “I wanted something to drink, and he tried to stop me, he really did. But I ran from him. I went anyway. I’m really sorry. It won’t happen again.” I bowed deeply.

Hyuk’s face softened a little and he glared at Taeyong, who tried to rearrange his facial features to form an innocent ‘yeah-she’s-totally-telling-the-truth’ expression. He sighed. 

“Who did you go with?” he shot at me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Taeyong tense up.

I hung my head, but didn’t reply. 

“I have a good enough idea about who it might be,” Hyuk snapped. “But this is the last warning, both of you. Do you understand?”

We nodded earnestly.

Once the door slammed shut behind us, Taeyong seized my wrist. I tilted my head upward. 

“You shouldn’t have done that.”

I scoffed. “You’re not getting into trouble for something I dragged you into. Of course I should have done that.”

“It was irresponsible of me, though.”

“Taeyong,” I said firmly. “It was my fault. I was childish in insisting that I go out at night for something as simple as soju. I was careless in not making sure that my mask was covering my face. You are in no way to blame for this. You were actually doing your job by coming with me. What would have happened if I had gone alone?” I patted his arm. “Don’t beat yourself up. I’m sorry.”

He cracked a smile. “I think he bought it, though.”

I flicked my hair. “I’m not a degree holder in theatrics for nothing, you know.”

Both of us laughed as we walked down the long cold corridor to the lobby. A figure emerged from around the corner.

“Y/N?”

“Wook?” I smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“I was told you came back to the hotel.” He slung an arm over my shoulder. “How say you, Taeyong-ah?”

Taeyong bowed. “Hello, Wook hyung. Ah—“ he fished around in his pocket. “Your keys.”

“Oh, right.” He took the clinking metal and shoved it in his own pocket. “Used it well?”

I pressed my lips together to stop myself from bursting into laughter. Taeyong noticed my constipated expression and fought to stop his own smile. “Yes, hyung, I did.”

The three of us exited from the main entrance and I paused by the gate with Taeyong as Wook went to check on his motorcycle. I slipped quietly outside, pulling Taeyong along with me. Putting a finger to my lips, I blocked his unasked question.

“3…2…1…” I whispered. 

“WHY ARE MY TYRES FLAT?!”

 

-

**“And one day, the cherry blossoms will bloom…”**  
_“…and I will see them, standing here, across the river…”_  
**“Just a word, a promise,**  
You will see me coming to you;  
I will come to you, across the river…” 

 

-

I sat beside the river on its bank, watching Kai splash around in the water like a child. The bank sloped upward behind me from the river cutting a path through it year after year. My bare toes dipped into the gently rippling water. 

“Why don’t you come in?” Kai pouted. “I want to play.”

“I don’t have anything else to wear,” I explained patiently for about the tenth time that morning. “And I’m not about to strip to my underwear like you did.”

I saw for a split second a large body falling into the water and there was a sudden huge splash. I shrieked and held up my hands to protect my eyes. 

“Hyung!” Kai’s yell echoed along the river. 

I opened my eyes to see the Chang Wook had joined us, stripped of his clothes like Kai. I glanced to the side to see his shirt and shorts abandoned on the banks. I bit my lip slightly seeing the toned muscles of his arms and pecs. 

“Hey.” He waded towards me to interlink our fingers together, my smaller dry ones and his larger wet ones. 

“Hi,” I replied dreamily. Kai gagged. 

“Break it up you two, you’re gross. Y/N, honestly.” He pulled our fingers apart.

“Yah, get out of here.” Chang Wook pushed him away, both falling back into the water. I glanced at my best friend, amused. 

He caught on. “Y/N, it seems like Wook-ssi wants some alone time here.” He hoisted himself out of the water. “Let’s go.” I gazed up at him from where I sat, giggling. He held out a hand and I took it. But before I could completely get up, my other hand was seized. I sat back down hard, being pulled apart. I looked at Chang Wook, who was holding on to one hand almost desperately, and then at Kai, who seemed equally so.

“Let go,” Kai scowled. “Y/N is my best friend.”

“Yeah?” Chang Wook was not having it. “Y/N is my lover.”

Kai smirked. “Oh really? When did that happen? Last time I checked the news, I was.”

“Okay, both of you, stop it!” I burst out. I gave Kai’s arm a sharp yank and he fell into the river with a loud splash. I stood up, hands on my hips. “You know what? Both of you can stay here until you sort out your issues with each other.”

Kai scoffed. “We can always leave, you know.”

“Not if I take your clothes.” Swooping down, I gathered all their clothes in my arms. 

“You wouldn’t,” Kai growled. 

“I just did.” I smiled broadly. “Have fun!”

I could hear their complaints after I climbed up the bank. 

“Aishh, hyung, why are you like this?” Kai sounded irritated, to say the least.

“Yah, show me some respect, you punk!” Wook sounded even more so.

“Ajhussi!” Kai yelled. “Why dost thou behave in this manner?”

“Yah!” A splash. 

I chuckled to myself and walked away. They would be okay.

 

-

I waltzed into my trailer, humming the tune to a song I had heard on the radio but didn’t know the name of. 

“Oh, Y/N!” my stylist called. “Taeyong left his phone here when he came looking for you. Could you give it to him when you see him?”

I nodded enthusiastically. “Yes.”

She narrowed her eyes playfully. “Someone looks very happy today.” I shrugged, turning to go and find Taeyong. “Are you in love?”

I paused at the door. “Something like that.” 

 

-

Fifteen minutes later, I still couldn’t find Taeyong. I wandered among the trees, relishing that I finally got to be alone. The trees were beautiful and dark and cool enough to suit my taste. It was…peaceful. 

_I’m bringing sexy back, them other boys don’t know how to act…_

“What the heck?” I stared down at his phone in amazement. Someone was calling him? This is his ringtone? What?! I clapped a hand to my mouth. “Wow.”

Jae was calling. Not just Jae, it was Jae with an excessive smiley. I silenced it. It didn’t feel right to answer a personal call.

Two minutes later, Jae with a smiley called again. Was it so important? I sighed in frustration, deciding to answer and let him know that Taeyong wasn’t here. I slid my finger across the answer button and opened my mouth to speak. It didn’t happen. I was punched in the face by the guy’s enthusiasm.

“Taeyong! Hyung, why are you like this? You’re such a liar, you said that you would be at the agency and I came to see you but you weren’t there, they said you went to Bukhan, but anyway, listen, I was trying to leave but then this girl comes running up to me and starts asking me questions and she gave me a script and told me to try acting it out, and I was so confused but I did it and guess what? Guess what, hyung? I got the part! Isn’t that crazy?”

I was totally bewildered. “Oh…Um. Taeyong isn’t here right now…I’ll let him know you called, though.” I didn’t know what else to say.

There was silence on the other end. “I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s okay!” I tried to reassure him. “It’s really great that you got the part.”

“Could…could I know who’s speaking?”

“Y/N. I’m part of the drama.”

“Oh!” I could sense his excitement. “Really?! Wahh, it’s an honour, Y/N-ssi. I really liked your performance in Seven Days A Queen. You were amazing.”

I smiled. “Thank you very much.”

“I should go now, but um…would you mind letting Tae know that I called?”

“Of course! I look forward to working with you.”

“Likewise. Goodbye!”

_What a cutie_ , I thought as I hung up. 

 

-

“Are you guys done fighting?” I peered over the side of the bank.

The two men were shivering, a reasonable distance away from each other but seemed to have made up with each other.

“Give us our clothes back, Y/N,” Chang Wook whined. 

“What he said.” Kai brought his hands together, begging. 

“You won’t get jealous or anything anymore?” 

They nodded. “I wasn’t jealous, though,” Kai muttered. 

I tossed them their clothes and two clean towels. They hurried out of the water and began rubbing themselves down. I won’t deny that I took total advantage of the sight. 

“Yah, stop ogling, you’re so shameless,” Kai hissed at me. 

“Why? Two half naked men is better than one. I’m not going to get this chance again.” I couldn’t keep the satisfied grin off my face as my eyes invaded their privacy. Kai groaned. 

“What did I do in my last birth to deserve this now?”

Chang Wook, however, locked eyes with me and flexed, his eyes sparkling mischievously. I blew him a kiss. 

“Get out of my way. I’m going to throw up.”

 

-

The sun had set before I found Taeyong again. 

“Where were you?” I asked as I bounced towards him. He glared. 

“Taking Wook hyung’s motorcycle to the repair shop after that prank you pulled,” he snarled. I stifled a giggle. “Get in the car.”

Buckling my seat belt, I remembered what had happened earlier. “Oh, you left your phone in the trailer.” I handed it to him. 

“Ah, the trailer….I’ve been looking for this everywhere!” He started the car. 

“Also, Jae? He called.” I held up my hands. “I only answered to tell him you weren’t here, but he went on talking. He got cast in the drama.”

“What?” Taeyong swerved hard to avoid crashing. I gripped my seat tightly. 

“Um. He got cast.” I quickly outlined what Jae had said to me. 

“Wow.” Taeyong tapped on the controls of the car and I heard a phone ring. He had connected his phone to the car via Bluetooth or something. 

“Hello?”

“Jaehyun-ah!” Taeyong exclaimed. “Congratulations!”

“Ah, she told you, hyung? Thank you!”

“You must be looking so handsome nowadays for you to just walk in and get the part. Wah.”

“Ey, hyung, don’t say stuff like that.”

“I’m only telling you the truth.”

I soon lost focus in the conversation, my eyes drifting to Taeyong. His eyes were alert and shining when he spoke to his friend. This was certainly a side of him that he never showed, a side that I would very much like to see. I remembered the way he would never behave even remotely unprofessional in front of me. But three months had passed, and he seemed so much more at ease. Had we, in the chaos, become friends?

“You’ve known him for long?” I asked, curious about this new acquaintance. I loved Jaehyun’s energy. I was looking forward to meeting him once we got back to the city. 

“Jaehyun? Yeah, he was my junior in high school.”

“Oh, so he’s about my age?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that’s about right.”

I couldn’t help but stare at Taeyong. He looked so different when he was smiling. His face was something I had never noticed enough, and now, in the dull evening light, I saw it as if for the first time. Could he possibly have a crush on me? He doesn’t act like it. I won’t deny that he’s attractive, I thought to myself. But I’m sure I’ve never thought of him that way. Have I done anything to make him feel like that? I’m attached to him now, I know that. He’s like a shadow that I’m fond of. I don’t want him to get fired of anything. Stop. You’re overthinking. 

“Why are you watching me like that?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and focused on the road in front. “Oh, nothing. Nothing. Just…got lost in thought for a moment.”

The rest of the ride was silent. 

 

-

_“…the earth where my heart rests is soaked in your love_  
the flowers have bloomed, but as red as your blood  
I see the cherry blossoms, love, but…  
where are you?” 

-

“Wook! Where are you?” I propped my phone up to my ear as I zipped up my jacket. We had done a successful promotion event the day before (Chang Wook was especially popular) and all of us planned to take a night out and have a casual celebratory party. I had hoped to catch a ride with him for the night. 

“I’m at the party!” I heard him say. “Where are you?”

I felt betrayed. “I thought you might come pick me up.” I made my voice as pouty as I could. 

“My motorcycle is still under repair because Taeyong managed to get both my tyres flat—“ I coughed—“I thought you were going with Chanyeol.”

“It’s okay, I’ll call Chan. Don’t have too much fun!” I hung up, sighing, speed-dialling Chan’s number. 

“Hello? Y/N?”

“Channie, where are you?”

“I’m pulling in to the party,” he answered and I felt my heart literally sink. “Don’t get you hair in a twist. I’m here.”

“But I’m not! I thought you would give me a ride!”

“What?” He sounded confused. “I thought you were going with Chang Wook?”

“Aishh…” I rubbed my temples. “Where’s Kai?”

“With me. Should we come back?”

I waved the offer away. “Don’t bother.” I cut the call. 

“Taeyong!” I tried hopefully, crossing my fingers. 

“Y/N?”

“Could you drop me off at the party, please please?” I begged him. “With a cherry on top?”

He laughed. “Sure. You ready?”

“Oh, Taeyong, you’re a lifesaver.” 

I heard him laughing on the other end. “Well, that is my job.”

 

-

“This the right place?” he asked, peering through the windshield at the club. 

“Yep. Thank you so much for not abandoning me.” He smiled. “You coming with me?”

“Oh. Y/N? Would it be okay if you caught a ride with one of the others? I have…uh…an appointment.” 

I smirked. “Going on a date?”

“What?! No. No, not at all.” He sighed. “My sister is in the hospital.”

“Oh! What happened?!”

“No, nothing serious. She’s just had a baby.”

“Aww!” I clapped my hands together in delight. “That’s great! Tell her I said congratulations.” 

“I will. But will you be okay?”

“It’s okay, Taeyong. Go ahead. I’ll get Chan to take me.”

He inclined his head gratefully. “Thank you. Have fun!”

I laughed. “I will.”

 

-

Drunk. We were drunk. Chan and I had to be the worst of the lot. Wook had disappeared into the bathroom and hadn’t come out yet. Wendy mentioned that she heard retching sounds.

“Truth or dare?” Chan slurred at me. 

I pointed at him, equally tipsy. “Dare.”

“I’m drunk. You’re drunk. Call your ex. Right now, right now….” his words faded into incoherence. 

“I don’t even have his number, idiot.”

“Call him. Call him. Call him.” Chanyeol was chanting the phrase over and over again.

“Okay, I will.” My unsteady hands fumbled around for my phone and I jabbed at the most recent person I had called. 

“Hello? Y/N?”

“Taeyong-ah— _hic_. Whatcha dooooin?”

“Y/N? Are you okay? Do you need something?”

“Youuuu,” I mumbled into the receiver. Chan tried to grab the phone from me but I swatted him away. Over to my side, Wendy was wincing at my state. “I need you, Taeyong-ah.”

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” He let out a long drawn sigh. 

“Nooo,” I whined. “Come here. Where are you?”

“Y/N, you said I didn’t have to—Aishh. What am I going to do now?” I heard inaudible voices on the other end. My phone was seized by a pair of hands. I followed the arms to see Wendy. 

“Taeyong-ssi, this is Wendy. Ah, yes…could you possibly—you’re on your way? Thank you. Thank you so much, Taeyong.”

She hung up. “He’ll be here soon.”

“Yay!” I cheered, throwing my hands up in the air and then snatching another shot from the table. Wendy pulled my hand away.

“Y/N, calm down, you’ve already had too much to drink.” 

I pushed her away. “We’re celebrating. Let go.” I downed the last shot of vodka that I would remember drinking that night. Everything went fuzzy. 

 

-

I woke up, totally imbalanced. Disoriented. I had no clue where I was, what time it was, who I was or even what I was. Was it two days later, or two weeks later? I had no idea. All I knew was that my head hurt, my eyes hurt, the light was too bright and that I was just damn exhausted. 

I pushed myself up to a sitting position, cracking my eyes open to spot a bottle of water on the bedside table. I grabbed at it blindly, popping it open and downing the water. Dropping the bottle on the floor, I fell back against the mattress and slept, oblivious to everything. 

I awoke briefly, once again, peering through half-closed eyelids at the room. My room. Who was that? Standing there by the door and looking at me? I shut my eyes again and I drifted off. 

When I finally got out of bed, I was fine. And I noticed nothing out of place. 

 

-

“Ah, has Sleeping Beauty arrived?” Kai teased when I trudged downstairs to his car.

“Shut up,” I mumbled. 

“I didn’t know you could drink like that, damn,” he whistled. 

“Chan started the contest, okay, I didn’t.” 

“Yeah, whatever.” 

The shoot was quicker than usual today. Our work at the river was ending and we would be going to New York within the month. I was excited. 

“Hey, Y/N!” I turned around to see Chang Wook jogging towards me. 

I fell into his embrace. He felt so warm and firm. I had grown used to his smiling face and his endless cheer. And I absolutely loved it. Was I in love with him? I didn’t know. All I knew was that I wanted his company. And the fact that this was the end of our shoot together broke my heart. He wouldn’t be coming to New York with us. Neither would Kai. Only me, Chan and Taeyong. 

“I’m going to miss you,” I murmured into his chest. 

“Me, too.” His grip tightened. “I feel like I’m losing a part of me. But you’ll come back.”

“I don’t want to go.” 

He rubbed my back. “We still have this week back in the city. We’ll be alright.”

 

-

“Where’s Taeyong?” I asked everyone, when the time had come to truly pack up and he wasn’t anywhere in sight. No one had seen him that day. I remembered that his sister had a baby, so maybe he was with her? I took out my phone to call him, to ask him how things were. But I was met with a voice declaring that the number I was dialling didn’t exist. “What on earth? What do you mean it doesn’t exist?” I tried again, with the same result. 

“Y/N.” I glanced up, then stiffened. My manager was walking briskly towards me. 

“Have you seen—“

“Taeyong?” he completed. When I nodded, he gave me a grave frown. “Y/N, Taeyong resigned this morning.”

It was like a punch to the face. The world slowed down for a minute, my heartbeat louder and louder. “Resigned? What do you mean?” 

He shook his head. “He came to me this morning and told me that he was resigning. He didn’t offer any explanation. Did something happen yesterday?”

“I…I don’t know.” My voice was barely more than a breath. Taeyong was gone? I felt abandoned, insecure, unsafe. When he was around…I had felt free. But he was gone.

 

-

I unlocked my hotel room door, trying hard not to collapse in devastation. My fingers shook. Taeyong was really gone? He had resigned? Why? Why? “WHY?”

I sat down hard on the sofa, eyes unfocused, gazing out into space. A rectangular parcel on the coffee table brought me back. I frowned at it, wondering what on earth it was. Hesitantly, I grasped it and tore away the brown paper covering. 

I choked. 

In my hands was an old worn copy of a book. 

 

-

**“And one day, the cherry blossoms will bloom**  
and you will see them from across the river…”  
_“…your empty words, broken promises,_  
through my tears, I cannot see you  
I will come to you, crossing the river.” 

 

“Wow!” Chanyeol and Wendy stood up and clapped as Chang Wook and I brought the song to a close. “You guys did great!”

“It wasn’t,” Chang Wook immediately said. “You don’t get great stuff by pairing up a beautiful voice with mine.”

“Stop it, Wook,” I said, blushing, “You did amazing.”

“Yeah, okay, clear out, lovebirds.” Chan waved us away while Wendy typed away at her software. Wendy had been a bit distant towards me since we left the river. I had no clue what happened, but I didn’t have the guts to ask. 

Chang Wook grabbed my hand and led me out of Chan’s precious studio. 

“You did really well,” he whispered, pulling me to him.

 

-

I walked down the hallway to Wook’s dressing room, cupping a butterfly in my hand. I had seen the tiny creature a few minutes ago, lying on the floor. It wasn’t injured, probably just resting, but it looked beautiful and I couldn’t resist taking it with me to show Wook. 

Outside the door, I paused, trying to shift the insect to one hand to open the door without hurting it. That’s when I heard voices from inside. A heated argument. I didn’t mean to listen in, but it wasn’t something I could just block out. 

“Have you no shame, Chang Wook?” an angry voice spat. I recognized it as his manager, Sejin. “Have you lost what reason you had?”

I narrowed my eyes in confusion. What had Wook done?

“Y/N’s only young,” another voice said. My eyes widened. Hyuk?!

“Hyung, you know I don’t—“

“Shut up and listen to what I’m saying,” his manager cut him off rudely. “You’re older than Y/N is. It doesn’t look good, Wook. You understand me? I would have thought you would stick to your own age group instead of targeting younger—“

“Hyung, don’t say things like that!” Wook burst out. “I care about Y/N very much.”

“But you do know what it looks like, don’t you?” I heard Hyuk say. “It looks immoral. And disgusting. And in the light of the media, Y/N’s already in a relationship.”

“But Y/N doesn’t like—“

“It’s not a question of likes or dislikes. It’s public image. I’ve seen you around Y/N and it’s just…odd. Wook, listen to me. You’ll find other people. You know it’s not going to work out in the end. Don’t go giving out false hopes.”

“But I didn’t—“

“Wook, don’t think we don’t know about the little motorcycle fling you two had one night. Don’t pull out your acting here.”

“Motorcycle? What the hell are you talking about?!”

“Cut it out, Wook. End it. As soon as possible.”

“No. Why should I?”

A pause. “Chang Wook, I’m going to make this very clear to you. End it, or you’re finished in this industry. Am I understood?”

Silence. “Yes, hyung.”

I fell back against the wall beside the door, heart plummeting. I could only hear the blood pounding in my ears. An unbearable suffocation crept into my chest and I choked back a sob. 

The door slammed open. I didn’t even look to see who it was. 

“Y/N.” 

I closed my eyes, not bearing to hear his voice, not wanting him to see what it did to me.

“I’m very sorry.” I blinked my tears back and gave him an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry, Chang Wook-ssi.”

His gaze was desperate and pleading. “I’m the one who should be sorry.” 

I shook my head. “You’ve had a lot of trouble because of me.”

He didn’t reply. 

I forced a smile. “It’s been an honour working with you, Chang Wook-ssi. Thank you for helping me.”

He nodded, both of us reaching an understanding that this was going to end this way. “Thank you for your presence, Y/N. I hope you do well.”

“You, too, sunbaenim. Fighting!”

“Fighting.”

I bowed low, turning around as fast as I could. 

“Y/N!” At his call, I stopped. “When are you leaving?”

“In three days.” I took a deep shaky breath. “Three days.”

“Please….be safe.”

I nodded. “Thank you, sunbae.”

And then I was running, running, running, trying to get away from there, far away, as far as I could. I couldn’t stay there. I was running through the halls, and crying, silent tears filling my eyes, and I couldn’t see, I couldn’t run, but I was running. Where? Not Kai. No, not him. My legs brought me to Chan, to my best friend, to his studio and to his arms. And then I was crying, crying like I had never before. Crying with a shattered heart, and crying until I had no more tears to give. And Chan was warm, he was always warm, and I had always loved it, but now it made me cry harder, crying because it reminded me of the warmth of someone else, the warmth that I had lost, the warmth that I would never get again. He was still here, he was still breathing the same air that I was, and somehow that hurt more. 

My own voice ran through my head. _I don’t want to go._

But now, I couldn’t wait to get away.

 

\---


End file.
